Thread: Шутки что я могу рассказывать?

Я стараюсь найти шутки что я могу рассказывать к моим друзьям. То ест- эти шутки должны быть короткие, со сравнительно простыми словами, и конечно смешные!

Так...
Пожалуйста, кто знает?

Я стараюсь найти шутки, которые я смогу рассказывать своим (моим) друзьям. (которые = which; смогу - future; рассказывать друзьям - no "к" is required!)
Note. "моим" is OK, but "своим" is better.

То есть, эти шутки должны быть короткие, со сравнительно простыми словами, и конечно смешные!

BTW, if you mean short stories with an unexpected and funny end? There is a special word for them: анекдот.

"Шутка" (a joke) can be, for example, a funny response to someone's question, a funny comment to someone's action etc. But when you tell short funny stories, it is "рассказывать анекдоты".

Короткий анекдот:

- Вы чай будете пить? - Would you like some tea? (lit.: Will you drink tea?)
- Почему бы и нет! - Why not!
- Ну нет - так нет. - OK, if not, then not!

Personally, I like jokes (Russian: anecdotes) with a mixture of Russian and English. They are not for everybody, though. They are for Russians who knows some English (at least a little bit).

Иностранец подходит к кассе "Аэрофлота":
- Two tickets to Dublin.
- Куда, блин?

A foreigner comes to Aeroflot ticket-office. (Aeroflot - the biggest Russian airline company).

- Two tickets to Dublin. It sounds as "two tickets туда, блин"
("туда" - to there, "блин" - it literally means "pancake", but there is nothing to do with its direct meaning, it has no English equivalent in this context, it's just a filler word, an euphemism of a common swear word in Russian, being not a swear word itself, but sounding quite alike). So, to a Russian ear it sounds roughly as "two ticket to there, holy sh..t", but less rude.

- Куда, блин? (To where, holy sh..t?)

Originally Posted by Valda

Я стараюсь найти шутки что я могу рассказывать к моим друзьям. То ест- эти шутки должны быть короткие, со сравнительно простыми словами, и конечно смешные!

Так...
Пожалуйста, кто знает?

Trachtenberg's anecdotes are currently easily available on YouTube. Given this miraculously blissful fact, you can magnificently augment and astoundingly amplify your yearning for "funstuff" with a broad variety of issues regarding cultural paradigms of intergender intercourse, as well as sufficiently imbue and tangibly satiate your intransigently aspiring mind with the correspondent structure of related applied linguistics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw-2lKSEVPU

Макака коалу в какао макала, коала какао лениво лакала.

рассказывать анекдоты

That's a bit odd, considering it's not an anectdote, but a joke! An anectdote in English as I'm sure you know, is short story with some sort of moral lesson to gain from it...not something intended for laughter.

Originally Posted by Боб Уайтман

Короткий анекдот:

- Вы чай будете пить? - Would you like some tea? (lit.: Will you drink tea?)
- Почему бы и нет! - Why not!
- Ну нет - так нет. - OK, if not, then not!

Personally, I like jokes (Russian: anecdotes) with a mixture of Russian and English. They are not for everybody, though. They are for Russians who knows some English (at least a little bit).

Иностранец подходит к кассе "Аэрофлота":
- Two tickets to Dublin.
- Куда, блин?

A foreigner comes to Aeroflot ticket-office. (Aeroflot - the biggest Russian airline company).

- Two tickets to Dublin. It sounds as "two tickets туда, блин"
("туда" - to there, "блин" - it literally means "pancake", but there is nothing to do with its direct meaning, it has no English equivalent in this context, it's just a filler word, an euphemism of a common swear word in Russian, being not a swear word itself, but sounding quite alike). So, to a Russian ear it sounds roughly as "two ticket to there, holy sh..t", but less rude.

- Куда, блин? (To where, holy sh..t?)

Heh, any better jokes?

Originally Posted by diogen_

Trachtenberg's anecdotes are currently easily available on YouTube. Given this miraculously blissful fact, you can magnificently augment and astoundingly amplify your yearning for "funstuff" with a broad variety of issues regarding cultural paradigms of intergender intercourse, as well as sufficiently imbue and tangibly satiate your intransigently aspiring mind with the correspondent structure of related applied linguistics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xw-2lKSEVPU

Думаю что это немножко слишком трудно для меня.

Originally Posted by Valda

That's a bit odd, considering it's not an anectdote, but a joke! An anectdote in English as I'm sure you know, is short story with some sort of moral lesson to gain from it...not something intended for laughter.

Yes, Valda, Russian "анекдот" is not the same as English "anecdote", it is a source of a possible confusion. It is an example of so-called "false friends of interpreter".

He's an article from Russian wikipedia about "анекдот": Анекдот — Википедия
The definition is:
Анекдо́т (фр. anecdote — байка, небылица; от греч. τὸ ἀνέκδοτоν — неопубликовано, букв. «не изданное»[1]) — фольклорный жанр, короткая смешная история, обычно передаваемая из уст в уста. Чаще всего анекдоту свойственно неожиданное смысловое разрешение в самом конце, которое и рождает смех.

Анекдот (from French "anecdote" - fable, cock-and-bull story; or from Greek τὸ ἀνέκδοτоν — unpublished) - is a folklore genre, a short funny story, usually transmitted from mouth to mouth. It is typical for an anecdote to have an unexpected logical outcome at the very end, which causes laughter.

From Russian-English dictionary:
анекдот
м.
anecdote; funny story; (шутка тж.) joke
♢ это просто анекдот! — it is simply ridiculous!

From English-Russian dictionary:
anecdote
['ænıkdəʋt] n
1. 1) (короткий) рассказ, история; эпизод
witty [amusing, interesting] anecdote - остроумный [забавный, интересный] рассказ
2) анекдот
2. часто pl неопубликованные, неизвестные (обыкн. пикантные) биографические подробности

Well, and as to some good Russian anecdotes... I know lots of them really, but I'm trying to find something which could be easy for you.
The matter is 50% or more of the Russian anecdotes are based on the word game.
And the other half of them are culture-specific. It is not so easy to recollect something which could be internationally understood. I'll post them to you when I recall some.

Here's one funny joke (aka anecdote) for you.
There was a huge series of anecdotes about "New Russians", they (anecdotes) used to be extremely popular in 1990-s. "New Russian" is a stereotype of extremely rich and low-cultured people in the early post-Soviet Russia. New Russian - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Сын нового русского подходит к отцу:
- Пап, дай денег!
- Сколько?
- Немножко, вот столько: (and then you have to show a gap of about 2-3 centimeters between the tips of your thumb and your index finger).

A New Russian's son comes to his father:
- Dad, gimmie some money!
- How much?
- A little, just like this: (show it with your fingers).

Originally Posted by Боб Уайтман

- Вы чай будете пить? - Would you like some tea? (lit.: Will you drink tea?)
- Почему бы и нет! - Why not!
- Ну нет - так нет. - OK, if not, then not!

Иностранец подходит к кассе "Аэрофлота":
- Two tickets to Dublin.
- Куда, блин?

Иностранцам анекдоты с нашей игрой слов непонятны. Им нужны анекдоты с чистым смыслом, без каламбуров.

"Старый друг - лучше новых двух" (the old friend is better then two new friends), но мне больше нравится другая перефразировка: "Старый друг - лучше двух подруг" (the old friend is better then two girl-friends).