Thanks for the feedback, everyone! The problems I was having with my camcorder seem to be fixed, so this evening I'm going to try to make a video with a short reading in Russian, and this time I'll try to read in a "normal conversational voice" for purposes of comparison.

But a lot of the specific criticisms weren't a surprise to me -- I know that I have trouble with some of the soft consonants, and I tend to pronounce them "hard" unless I'm very, very focused. (I might be able to pronounce the ль properly if I were saying ONLY the word "сильный", but it's more difficult when the word is in a sentence.)