Trying to figure out slang words of a computer game character (screenshots included)
  This game is called "Book of Unwritten Tales", a humorous quest adventure game. I ran into a funny city guard character and wanted to understand his slang better so I decided to post it here.
 
 
 http://img253.imageshack.us/img253/3156/28880839.jpg
 
1) Does че mean just что? because in this case I notice it might mean о чем. 
 
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 http://img207.imageshack.us/img207/5311/62524868.jpg
 
The guard is asked if he's human here.
 
2) What's the deal of adding то to я? a slang thing? And what does the дык thing suppose to mean?
 
 
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 http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/690/22481362.jpg
 
3) Shouldn't it be меня зовут and not меня зваль?
 
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 http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/7981/16011964.jpg
 
Here the guard answers the "where am I" question...
 
 
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4) Is it slang to say эт instead of это? 
 
 http://img694.imageshack.us/img694/8876/34883987.jpg
 
 
5) Сечешь? What's that? I get no dictionary find on google translate.
 
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I have more but that should be enough for the first round :D