Новый герой

Can someone please check my translation.
I may be a bit bold in saying that I think there are no major mistakes in this one. But if there are, please feel free shoot me down. I can handle it. :D

Новый герой
New Hero

Книг сотни страниц,
Мир сказочных лиц,
Рифм строгая власть,
Но я спешу теперь
Из строк судьбу сложить.

Books of hundred pages,
the world of fantastic faces,
Rhymes strict authority,
But I hasten/hurry now
From lines of destiny to combine.

Кто ты, мой новый герой?
Ты будешь здесь, я знаю,
Тебе обычных дел сюжет
Мешает быть со мной.
Сойди с забытых страниц,
Я о тебе мечтаю,
Сорви букет колючих роз
За каменной стеной.

Who are you, my new hero?
You will be here, I know,
the plot of usual affairs
Prevents you from being with me.
Descend from the forgotten pages,
I dream of you,
Pick a bouquet of thorny roses
Behind the stone wall.

Я жду перемен,
Прочь время измен.
Дел много вокруг,
И мудрость книжных слов
Мне больше не важна.

I wait for changes,
Away time of betrayal.
Has put much around,
And the wisdom of the book's words
is not important to me any more.

Где ты, мой новый герой?
Ты рядом здесь я верю.
И лишь привычный узкий круг
Мешает быть со мной.
Тебя устала я ждать,
Сломай замки и двери.
Сорви букет колючих роз
За каменной стеной.

Where are you, my new hero?
You are here beside (me) I trust.
And only the usual narrow circle
prevents (you from) being with me.
I am tired of waiting for you,
Break locks and doors.
Pick a bouquet of thorny roses
Behind the stone wall.

Quote:

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Книг сотни страниц,
Мир сказочных лиц,
Рифм строгая власть,
Но я спешу теперь
Из строк судьбу сложить.

Books of hundred pages,
the world of fantastic faces,
Rhymes strict authority,
But I hasten/hurry now
From lines of destiny to combine.

---

Pay attention to the case of книга - it's книг, whic is genitive plural, so it should be "hundreds of pages of books." Word order here was flipped around so it would rhyme with лиц in the next line.

I would also leave out the definite article before "world" but it's your choice, I guess.

About рифм - same deal as with книг.

Из строк судьбу сложить.
It can't be lines of destiny as судьба here is not in the genitive. So it's like "to put down destiny from the lines."

There are other mistakes too in the next parts, but I didn't feel like doing it all now :)

Cool! I got it!
Книг = genitive plural of Книга
Рифм = genitive plural of Рифма
строк = genitive plural of строка

Книг сотни страниц,
Мир сказочных лиц,
Рифм строгая власть,
Но я спешу теперь
Из строк судьбу сложить.

Hundreds of pages of books,
World of fantastic faces,
Strict authority of rhymes,
But I hurry now
to put down destiny from the lines.

At least I am consistant with my mistakes. :D :D

Quote:

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За каменной стеной
Behind the stone wall

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Maybe this should be:
Beyond the stone wall

Quote:

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Сойди с забытых страниц,
Descend from the forgotten pages,

---

Maybe this should be:
Leave the forgotten pages

Quote:

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Прочь время измен.
Away time of betrayal.

---

Maybe this should be
Get out time of betrayals.

Is измен the genitive plural of измена?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by kwatts59

Is измен the genitive plural of измена?

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You got it!

сказочный - fairy-tale, improbable. "Fantastic" may have the wrong connotations here, I'm not sure. фантастический would mean fantastical, imaginary.

A world of ?

>Strict authority of rhymes
The strict rule of rhythm

сложить - put together, assemble, compose E.G., I create my own destiny with my poetry.

Beyond.

>Leave the forgotten pages
Yes. Sort of like Leave/go off the beaten path.

прочь maybe = away with! Synonym of Долой! ?

Дел много вокруг,
И мудрость книжных слов
Мне больше не важна.

I am surrounded by many tasks/activities etc.,
and I no longer have need of /can heed?/
the wisdom in the words of books.
or: no longer reaches me.

Break the locks and doors.

Great poetry! Who is this?

Big thanks chaika. :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chaika

Great poetry! Who is this?

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It's a song by Mirage, my favorite group.
http://www.rbcmp3.com/store/dept.asp?dept%5Fid=2241