classic

Having had it with the sappy Russian songs, and I mean big time, I follow up on the pranki's challenge and suggest translating the already mentioned fragment by Gerty. I am curious how this would look in English, but I am uncapable of doing it myself. Any takers?

- Так что там с проклятием? - Сашка быстрее всех отошел от бурной сцены и вернулся к разговору о деле. - Значит, какие-то навки из болота выползают и мальчишек целуют до смерти?
- Ага! - кивнула Анисья. - А потом и усех, кто в домине есть: и мамку, и деток усех, и птице, и скотину, и кошку!
- И все от этого помирают?
- Усе! - Анисья кивнула так энергично, что я думал, у нее голова оторвется. - А те, кто не помират, те с ума сбегат. Дурны делаются, самасшедши. Особенна када мальчонка навку с заду увидат.
- А что у нее сзади? - поинтересовался я. Анисья помолчала немного, потом перекатилась на колени, подползла ко мне и дернула за штанину. Я присел на корточки и снова ощутил исходящий от нее терпкий запах. Девчонка приблизила свое лицо к моему и прошептала таинственно:
- А у навок спины нету.
- К-как это "спины нету"? - я сглотнул слюну.
- А так-так: навка по виду - как девка баска, волос черен, лицо бело, румяно, зубья калены, восры, коса длинна, до земли. Во как ета, - Анисья кивнула на Лену. - А узнать ее можно так: сзаду к ней зайти, одежу на ней задрат и глянут - то нет у ней спины и все нутро-требуха видна!..
Я резко встал и тут же почувствовал приступ тошноты, какой бывает, когда посмотришь с водонапорной башни вниз и удивишься, как же высоко ты залез. Страх тонкими ручейками полез за шиворот и растекся по спине. Мучительно тянуло обернуться и посмотреть: не стоит ли кто-то у меня за плечами? Может, пока мы тут разговариваем, какая-нибудь нечисть болотная вышла на свет божий и стала в дверях, и поэтому в амбаре вдруг стало так сумеречно. И если я сейчас обернусь, то увижу, как сзади стоит и смотрит мне в спину нечто такое, от вида чего я упаду замертво... А Анисья поднялась вслед за мной и, не отрывая взгляда от моего лица, прошептала еще тише, словно тайна пугала и ее саму:
- И кто из мальчонков навку таку увидит - тот с ума сходит зараз, и ходит, воит, стонет, пока в болото не прыгнет, шоб страх свой похоронить, вона как!

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Originally Posted by adoc

Having had it with the sappy Russian songs, and I mean big time, I follow up on the pranki's challenge and suggest translating the already mentioned fragment by Gerty. I am curious how this would look in English, but I am uncapable of doing it myself. Any takers?

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that's one funny text, I wonder where it is coming from.
Anyway, it would not be a big deal for any native speaker to translate the meaning. But a professional translation would be rather hard, if you wanted to convey the impression of the girl's speech you'd have to know some quite obscure English dialects. I also think that things like "навка" (she is a mythical swamp creature; I actually thought they only lived in Ukraine :) but this text is clearly Russian) should be just left as navka and explained in footnotes.

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Originally Posted by laxxy

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Originally Posted by adoc

that's one funny text, I wonder where it is coming from.

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Oh I fugured out where it came from :) Nice work Gerty!!

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Originally Posted by laxxy

Anyway, it would not be a big deal for any native speaker to translate the meaning. But a professional translation would be rather hard, if you wanted to convey the impression of the girl's speech you'd have to know some quite obscure English dialects.

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Not a big deal?? I don't think so, a successful English speaker (or do you mean Russian native speaker?) would have to understand first what the fragment is saying. Judging by the attempts to translate Rosenbaum into English on this forum, it will not be that easy. Anyways, this looks like an excessively hard task.

I am pretty sure that is extremely difficult text to translate, first it contains some weird contry-stick lingo you will never find in dictionaries. It is still a very talanted text. And then translating this into English, you need to get similar country-stick lingo, to show very uneducated language somewhere in a far village.

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Originally Posted by adoc

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Originally Posted by laxxy

Anyway, it would not be a big deal for any native speaker to translate the meaning. But a professional translation would be rather hard, if you wanted to convey the impression of the girl's speech you'd have to know some quite obscure English dialects.

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Not a big deal?? I don't think so, a successful English speaker (or do you mean Russian native speaker?) would have to understand first what the fragment is saying. Judging by the attempts to translate Rosenbaum into English on this forum, it will not be that easy. Anyways, this looks like an excessively hard task.

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I meant a Russian native speaker, of course. The problem is that he/she would likely not be able to convey the nuances which make this so interesting, just the meaning.

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Originally Posted by Pioner

I am pretty sure that is extremely difficult text to translate, first it contains some weird contry-stick lingo you will never find in dictionaries. It is still a very talanted text. And then translating this into English, you need to get similar country-stick lingo, to show very uneducated language somewhere in a far village.

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I'd say that this is not so much uneducated as it is dialectal. Although with most local dialects dying in Russia, the only people who would actually speak like that would be the older village dwellers. So you are right, too.

It's a pity imho because many of these are interesting and more authentic than the literary Russian (which is a rather artificial language with lots of borrowed foreign words and such). I am at least happy that Ukrainian language avoided a similar fate, although Bielorussian is most likely already unsalvageable (I hope I'm wrong of course, but the vital signs are not good).

well, educated person would not speak this way, because he/she used to literal language. non-educated - I did not mean stupid, but with a lack of formal education.

Yes, Belorussian sounds like a dialect of Russian to me, but Ukranian is definetaly is a separate language, got even some different grammar rules.

It seems this text is the Gerty's revenge to English speakers, because she have to live in Canada :lol:

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Originally Posted by adoc

Having had it with the sappy Russian songs, and I mean big time, I follow up on the pranki's challenge and suggest translating the already mentioned fragment by Gerty. I am curious how this would look in English, but I am uncapable of doing it myself. Any takers?

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My name is Kalinka_vinnie, and I accept the quest!

Well I will do it in small parts, so you can help me more efficiently

- Так что там с проклятием? - Сашка быстрее всех отошел от бурной сцены и вернулся к разговору о деле.
- So what's with this curse? - Sashka was the quickest to calm down and got straight down to business

- Значит, какие-то навки из болота выползают и мальчишек целуют до смерти?
- So, some kind of Navkis (mythical figures) crawl out of the swamp and kiss boys to death?

- Ага! - кивнула Анисья. - А потом и усех, кто в домине есть: и мамку, и деток усех, и птице, и скотину, и кошку!
- Uhhuh! - Nodded Anisya - And afterwards all 'em in the house: The mummy and all the children, and the birds, and the cattle and the kitty!

- И все от этого помирают?
- And everybody dies of this?

- Усе! - Анисья кивнула так энергично, что я думал, у нее голова оторвется.
- All of 'em! - Anisya nodded so violently that I thought that her head would fall off

- А те, кто не помират, те с ума сбегат. Дурны делаются, самасшедши. Особенна када мальчонка навку с заду увидат.
- And those who don't die go nuts. Made in to fools, lunatics. Especially when the guys see the navka from beheind


- А что у нее сзади? - поинтересовался я. Анисья помолчала немного, потом перекатилась на колени, подползла ко мне и дернула за штанину. Я присел на корточки и снова ощутил исходящий от нее терпкий запах. Девчонка приблизила свое лицо к моему и прошептала таинственно:

- What does she have behind her? - I inquired. Anisya turned quiet for a while, then rolled her self on the knees, crawled up to me and tugged my pants. I squatted and again sensed a tart smell emanating from her. The girl brought her face close to mine and whispered secretly:

- А у навок спины нету.
- К-как это "спины нету"? - я сглотнул слюну.
- The navkas don't have a back.
- W-what do you mean, don't have a back? - I gulped.

- А так-так: навка по виду - как девка баска, волос черен, лицо бело, румяно, зубья калены, восры, коса длинна, до земли. Во как ета, - Анисья кивнула на Лену. - А узнать ее можно так: сзаду к ней зайти, одежу на ней задрат и глянут - то нет у ней спины и все нутро-требуха видна!..
- Like this, see: In appearance the Navka is like a cute girl, black hair, white rosy face, strong sharp teeth, long plaits reaching the ground. Like this gal - Anisya nodded at Lena. - And you can recognize her like this: Go behind her, hitch up her clothes and look - She doesn't have a back and all her guts are visible!..

Я резко встал и тут же почувствовал приступ тошноты, какой бывает, когда посмотришь с водонапорной башни вниз и удивишься, как же высоко ты залез.
I abruptly stood up and immediatly felt sick, the kind that happens when you look down from a water tower and find out how high you climbed.

Страх тонкими ручейками полез за шиворот и растекся по спине. Мучительно тянуло обернуться и посмотреть: не стоит ли кто-то у меня за плечами?
The fear trickled in small streams from my collar and ran down my back. I was painfully drawn to turn and look: Is there someone standing behind my shoulders?

Может, пока мы тут разговариваем, какая-нибудь нечисть болотная вышла на свет божий и стала в дверях, и поэтому в амбаре вдруг стало так сумеречно.
Maybe, while we were talking, some kind of evil spirit of the swamp came to earth and stood in the doors, and that is why it suddenly became so dusky in the barn.

И если я сейчас обернусь, то увижу, как сзади стоит и смотрит мне в спину нечто такое, от вида чего я упаду замертво...
And if I now turn around, and see how the monster from behind stands and watches me in the back, I will fall dead from the sight of it.

А Анисья поднялась вслед за мной и, не отрывая взгляда от моего лица, прошептала еще тише, словно тайна пугала и ее саму:
But Anisya stood up with me and, without taking away her eyes from my face, whispered even quieter, as if the secret scared even her:

- И кто из мальчонков навку таку увидит - тот с ума сходит зараз, и ходит, воит, стонет, пока в болото не прыгнет, шоб страх свой похоронить, вона как!
- And those of the guys who see such a navka, will go nuts at once and he wanders around, howling and moaning, until he jumps into the swamp, to bury his fear, that's how it is, see!

Great job! I'm quite impressed. Just a few things:

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Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

- А те, кто не помират, те с ума сбегат. Дурны делаются, самасшедши. Особенна када мальчонка навку с заду увидат.
- And those who don't die, go crazy. Made in to fools, crazy people. They see a special (kada?) of a boy from the rear

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када=когда=when ("especially when a boy sees a navka from behind").

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- А что у нее сзади? - поинтересовался я. Анисья помолчала немного, потом перекатилась на колени, подползла ко мне и дернула за штанину. Я присел на корточки и снова ощутил исходящий от нее терпкий запах. Девчонка приблизила свое лицо к моему и прошептала таинственно:

- What those she have in the rear?

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"what does she have..." probably?

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- А так-так: навка по виду - как девка баска, волос черен, лицо бело, румяно, зубья калены, восры, коса длинна, до земли. Во как ета, - Анисья кивнула на Лену. - А узнать ее можно так: сзаду к ней зайти, одежу на ней задрат и глянут - то нет у ней спины и все нутро-требуха видна!..
- Like this: On appearance the Navka is like a baska(?) girl, black hair, white rosy face, red-hot teeth, vosry (?), long plaits reaching the ground. Like this one - Anisya nodded at Lena. - And you can recognize her like this: Go behind her, hitch up her clothes and look - She doesn't have a back and all the insides are visible!..

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баска=pretty
калены=каленые=hard (e.g. каленая пластина=a (steel) plate that has undergone "закаливание", a thermal hardening process, not sure about the english word)
восры=острые=sharp
i'd translate 'требуха' as 'guts'

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Страх тонкими ручейками полез за шиворот и растекся по спине. Мучительно тянуло обернуться и посмотреть: не стоит ли кто-то у меня за плечами?
The fear in small streams crawled from the collar and rand down the back. Agony pulled to turn and look: Is there someone standing by my shoulders?

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i'd translate as 'behind my shoulders', and while I am not a native speaker, "Agony pulled to turn and look" sounds a bit weird to me.

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- И кто из мальчонков навку таку увидит - тот с ума сходит зараз, и ходит, воит, стонет, пока в болото не прыгнет, шоб страх свой похоронить, вона как!
- And those of the boys who sees such a navka, he will go crazy of a disease and he walks, howls, moans, if he hasn't already jumped into the swamp, schob(?) to bury his fear, that's how it is!

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шоб (укр. щоб) = чтобы = in order to.
Well, Gerty is obviously the authority here but I do hope I got all of these right.

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Originally Posted by Pioner

well, educated person would not speak this way, because he/she used to literal language. non-educated - I did not mean stupid, but with a lack of formal education.

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I agree, I just mean that this is also some local dialect (i.e. someone from Voronezhska oblast' would not be speaking like this (imho) regardless of his/her education).

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Yes, Belorussian sounds like a dialect of Russian to me, but Ukranian is definetaly is a separate language, got even some different grammar rules.

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Bielorussian is definitely closer to Russian than Ukrainian. It is also an interesting example of interesting completely phonetic spelling, reading it feels like reading English written in international phonetic alphabet :)

U da man KV :thumbs:

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Originally Posted by laxxy

калены=каленые=hard (e.g. каленая пластина=a (steel) plate that has undergone "закаливание", a thermal hardening process, not sure about the english word)

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The technical term is "tempered".
"tempered steel" is steel that has undergone thermal hardening.

IMHO, only metallugists would know this word. I worked in a Titanium metal factory for several years.

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Originally Posted by kwatts59

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Originally Posted by laxxy

калены=каленые=hard (e.g. каленая пластина=a (steel) plate that has undergone "закаливание", a thermal hardening process, not sure about the english word)

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The technical term is "tempered".
"tempered steel" is steel that has undergone thermal hardening.

IMHO, only metallugists would know this word. I worked in a Titanium metal factory for several years.

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Thanks. The words (both the one for the result and for the process) are relatively popular in russian, you can expect most people to know them (including backward village girls, most villages used to have smithies back when people actually spoke like that).
US is a bit different society (I work with a ~45-year old woman from a very common family, and she's never seen a cow in her life...)

I hoped KV would not miss the opportunity, nice draft :) .

Let's see what's not resolved yet:

Сашка быстрее всех отошел - I am not sure that get away here is good. He cooled down. Отойти has a meaning of calming down, and this is it.

Мучительно тянуло обернуться... This is once again one of those impersonal constructs in Russian we've talked about.

[Меня] тянет домой.
[Меня] тянет спать.

Literally: I'm drawn home, I'm drawn to sleep.
Maybe "I was painfully drawn to turn"?

пока в болото не прыгнет
until he jumps into the swamp

I am not asking to transform the Anisya's speech into a country-style dialect (you've noticed distorted and outdated words, some of them are probably still present in Ukrainian and/or Belorussian, you laxxy be the judge of that), but if this can be done, the translation would be perfect :)

Now, tempered teeth (thanks kwatts59). It's some sort of a metaphore that I've heard from Russian folklore. It does not mean that the teeth are actually tempered, but that they are strong and healthy. In fact Anisya's whole talk reminds me of the Russian folklore, even the name is rare nowadays.

Wow! And I mean WOW! Kalinka, I'm SO impressed! You a great. You even got some of the freakish dialect words, which is - wow. :thanks:

I have to explain something about the language in this book ("classic", yeah :twisted: ). Actually, this is not an authentic dialect, but it was custom made for the book. I combined a few Siberian dialects (which are much lighter than that one) to make a specific, very strangely-sounding language of a small isolated village. So, russian native speakers can understand what these people are talking about, and even if they don't recognize each word, they can guess what it means from the context.

It's true that there are few non-russian, eastern-slavic (as bielorussian, ukranian) words in Siberian dialects, that the exiled from the western part of Russian Empire brought there in 18, 19 centuries. And it's possible to find some westren-Slavik mythical figures in Siberia, although here it was just an artificial mythology made up for the village.

Yup, Kalinka was very impressive.

btw, Gerty: I think you might find this interesting:

http://www.volgota.org/HomePage -- siberian language :)
http://www.livejournal.com/users/samir74/ -- the principal compiler's blog

the project is purely an academic exercise so far and it's not done yet afair, but you seem to be a person who might actually make use of it!

:oops: Thanks all... :)

Ok, I updated my translation with you suggestions, I tried to make Anisya's speech more slangish... but I think I would need some help of people who know more slang... I still am not sure of my translation of:

потом перекатилась на колени - then rolled her self on the knees

it doesn't make sense to me...

Thanks for your warm words... :oops: :oops: :oops:

Kalinka, I am really impressed, no words, just emotions, your translation is great, take a word from me, I know what I am talking about. :)

for "перекатилась на колени", that is simple (for Russians), imagine, she was sitting on her butts, with legs bended tight to her body, her chin is on her knees (emprio pose, but sitting upright), then she rolled forward closer to him and got on her knees standing next to him...

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Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

- И кто из мальчонков навку таку увидит - тот с ума сходит зараз, и ходит, воит, стонет, пока в болото не прыгнет, шоб страх свой похоронить, вона как!
- And those of the guys who sees such a navka, he will go nuts due to the disease and he goes around, howling and moaning, until he jumps into the swamp, to bury his fear, that's how it is, see!

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One other small correction (didn't see this the first time): I believe, "зараз"="сразу"="at once", it does not refer to a disease here.

Another (remote) possibility would be "now", which is "зараз" (stressed on the first A) in Ukrainian and so might also appear in some Russian dialects. Here it would mean smth like "right now there is a guy to whom this is happening", but it would look kinda unusual here given the rest of the sentence so I think Gerty meant "at once".

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Originally Posted by laxxy

Another (remote) possibility would be "now", which is "зараз" (stressed on the first A) in Ukrainian and so might also appear in some Russian dialects. Here it would mean smth like "right now there is a guy to whom this is happening", but it would look kinda unusual here given the rest of the sentence so I think Gerty meant "at once".

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Yes! It is "at once".

Ok, I fixed it.

So, Gerty, do I get the job translating your books? I am cheap! :lol:

Feel free to give us more excerpts of books to translate, this was very interesting!

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Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

Ok, I fixed it.

So, Gerty, do I get the job translating your books? I am cheap! :lol:

Feel free to give us more excerpts of books to translate, this was very interesting!

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I'll keep you in mind, man! :D If my new publisher gets down to translation, I will certanly point on you. All the more you are cheap :lol:

Try this one, ot's more standart:

Двенадцать ножей и летающая тарелка

В 12 лет Эсмеральда Цветкова поняла, что жизнь не удалась. Судите сами: у всех девчонок папы как папы, а ей достался папа - профессиональный философ: ни на каток с ним сходить, ни на озеро съездить, где выдают лодки на прокат. Даже на работу не ходит: сидит целыми днями дома и шлепает по клавишам компьютера. Мама тоже хороша, – выучилась, видите ли, на учительницу. Приходишь домой – и все разговоры о «лишнем человеке» и тригонометрии. А отдыхать-то когда? Если это называется «счастливое детство», то я извиняюсь.
Вообще, жизнь состоит из сплошных расстройств. Вчера ее стихотворение не приняли на школьный поэтический конкурс. Руководитель поэтического кружка Александр Сергеевич промямлил, что комиссия и слушатели не оценят строк «От несваренья мысли слова во рту прокисли» и могут плохо подумать о нем, как о преподавателе. А сегодня за полугодовую контрольную по математике влепили трояк. Это означает, что мама молча уйдет на кухню и будет игнорировать ее весь вечер, а папа оттопырит нижнюю губу и скажет: «Ты окончательно решила остаться дикой и неграмотной?» Хорошо еще, если не отберут ножницы и клей. Хотя поработать над моделью знаменитой шхуны «Синий нос» все равно удастся только урывками, пока родители смотрят телевизор, а как только в коридоре раздадутся шаги, прятать модель под стол, рискуя обломать верхние реи, и делать вид, что решаешь эти проклятые задачи.

Yeah, standard, a walk in the park :lol: :lol:

Ok, I will try! I have my battle gear on, going in for the kill!

Remember, with every translation I get better, so this will help the future translation of your book! :wink:

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Originally Posted by Gerty

Try this one, ot's more standart:

Двенадцать ножей и летающая тарелка

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Twelve knives and a flying saucer

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Originally Posted by Gerty

В 12 лет Эсмеральда Цветкова поняла, что жизнь не удалась. Судите сами: у всех девчонок папы как папы, а ей достался папа - профессиональный философ: ни на каток с ним сходить, ни на озеро съездить, где выдают лодки на прокат. Даже на работу не ходит: сидит целыми днями дома и шлепает по клавишам компьютера. Мама тоже хороша, – выучилась, видите ли, на учительницу. Приходишь домой – и все разговоры о «лишнем человеке» и тригонометрии. А отдыхать-то когда? Если это называется «счастливое детство», то я извиняюсь.

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At the age of 12 Esmeralda Tsvetovka understood that life didn't turn out too well. Judge for youself: Every girl has a normal dad, but she got a dad who was a professional philosopher. She couldn't go with him to the skating rink, nor to the lake where you can rent boats. He doesn't even go to work, he sits for whole days at home and types on the computer keyboard. Mom is also a fine one, you see, she was educated as a teachere. You come home and all they talk about is "the superfluous man" and trigonometry. When can I rest? If this is what is called "happy childhood", well then excuse me!

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Originally Posted by Gerty

Вообще, жизнь состоит из сплошных расстройств. Вчера ее стихотворение не приняли на школьный поэтический конкурс. Руководитель поэтического кружка Александр Сергеевич промямлил, что комиссия и слушатели не оценят строк «От несваренья мысли слова во рту прокисли» и могут плохо подумать о нем, как о преподавателе. А сегодня за полугодовую контрольную по математике влепили трояк. Это означает, что мама молча уйдет на кухню и будет игнорировать ее весь вечер, а папа оттопырит нижнюю губу и скажет: «Ты окончательно решила остаться дикой и неграмотной?»

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In general, life consits of continous disappointments. Yesterday they didn't accept her poem at the school poetry contest. Aleksander Sergeyevich, the head of the poetry club, mumbled that the committee and the audience wouldn't value the verse "From indigested thoughts, words mope about in the mouth" and they might think bad about him as a teacher. And today, at the biannual mathematics test, she came out with a three. This means that mom will go quietly into the kitchen and will ignore her the whole evening, while dad will bulge out his lower lip and say: "Have you completely decided to stay wild and illiterate?"

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Originally Posted by Gerty

Хорошо еще, если не отберут ножницы и клей. Хотя поработать над моделью знаменитой шхуны «Синий нос» все равно удастся только урывками, пока родители смотрят телевизор, а как только в коридоре раздадутся шаги, прятать модель под стол, рискуя обломать верхние реи, и делать вид, что решаешь эти проклятые задачи.

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Only if they didn't take away the scissors and the glue. Although working on the model of the famous schooner "Blue Nose" is only possible at odd times, while the parents are watching television, and if steps are heared in the corridor one has to quickly hide the model under the table, risking to break the upper masts and make the impression that you are resolving these damned assignments.

The bolded parts are the ones I am not sure about... what do you think?

I liked it, where is this from?

Un-...-believable, you are getting the hang of it :D. I don't have the time to correct inaccuracies now, hopefully someone else will.

Here is my guess.

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«От несваренья мысли слова во рту прокисли»

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From the undigested thoughts, word of mouth have become sour

If it is further off than KV's then let me know and I'll delete it. :D

Finally,

kwatts: both ways sound close enough, the one that is funnier (haha funnier) should win. Unfortunately, here I can't be the judge of that.

KV: It appears that sentences with no subject cause the most difficulties. It is not an easy concept for the English speaking people.

Даже на работу не ходит: He [the father] does not even go to work

"the odd person out" should be --> superfluous man. It is an archetype character appearing in the 19th century Russian literature, someone who is educated in the West, lives in Russia, and who is not actively involved in social life. A rich educated bum, basically. You could not have known it so don't worry about it.

А отдыхать-то когда? And when do I rest? (she is talking about herself)

могут плохо подумать о нем, как о преподавателе
they might think badly about him as a teacher

Хорошо еще, если не отберут ножницы и клей
I wish they would not take away the scissors and the glue (in bold there is future tense which makes it uncertain)

верхние реи upper yards (if I understand correctly the nautical terms)

This is so much fun to see my own text in English!!!!!! :D

Kalinka, you da man! Adoc, you da man's assistant! kwatts59, I really don't know how to translate this poem better :lol:

This is a fragment from my first book (as you have probably guessed, book for kids). Here you can read the whole first chapter at my publisher's dead site:

http://palmira.ru/Books/?fragment/499

Thanks, adoc, for the corrections! I still don't understand the upper masts part... upper yards? qu'est ce que??

And is this «От несваренья мысли слова во рту прокисли» a poem every russian knows, or did Gerty just make it up? does прокисили mean to mope about or to turn sour (the word itself)? Thanks Kwatts for the suggestion.

Gerty, you are a talented writer! And this is me, an aspiring writer who says it :) я восхищаюсь тобой!

Стих этот я не знаю.

Мысли прокисли - означает, что мысли стали совсем плохого качества.

Сравни "суп прокис" - суп стал кислым, но не потому что он кислый (скажем щи кислые по определению), а потому что он испортился, и есть его нельзя.

Interesting thread guys. :)

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Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

- Так что там с проклятием? - Сашка быстрее всех отошел от бурной сцены и вернулся к разговору о деле.
- So what's with this curse? - Sashka was the quickest to calm down and went straight to business

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I'd prefer "got straight down to business".

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- And those who don't die, go nuts.

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The comma should not be used here.

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- What does she have in the rear? - I inquired.

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"in the rear" would never be used like that. If I were in that position, the question I would ask would be "Why, what's she got on her back?" or "What's wrong with her back?" or "What's on her back?" "What's she got behind her?" (maybe). Rear is usually a euphemism for ass/arse.

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I squatted and again sensed a tart smell emitting from her.

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should be "emanating" (a smell does not emit, it is emitted, but emanate is more appropriate here I think).

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- А у навок спины нету.
- К-как это "спины нету"? - я сглотнул слюну.
- The navkas don't have a back.
- H-How not having a back? - I gulped.

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The literal translation of kak is unnatural here. "What do you mean, they don't have a back?!" yes, I know it's a lot of extra words, but it's the most natural sounding equivalent imho.

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- Like this, see: On appearance the Navka

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In appearance

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Страх тонкими ручейками полез за шиворот и растекся по спине. Мучительно тянуло обернуться и посмотреть: не стоит ли кто-то у меня за плечами?
The fear in small streams crawled from my collar and ran down my back. I was painfully drawn to turn and look: Is there someone standing behind my shoulders?

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This word order is very unnatural in English, the adverbial phrase "in small streams" would have to be put after the verb "crawled". By the way, you might want to try the verb "trickle" instead of "crawl"; it would fit nicely here.

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- И кто из мальчонков навку таку увидит - тот с ума сходит зараз, и ходит, воит, стонет, пока в болото не прыгнет, шоб страх свой похоронить, вона как!
- And those of the guys who sees such a navka,

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"those" does not agree with "sees" .. Rather than write "and those of the guys who see ...", you might prefer to throw in an "if": and if any one of the guys should see ... , although it's not there in the original. :)

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Originally Posted by kalinka_vinnie

qu'est ce que??

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A mast (мачта), c'est un vertical support for sails, so it can't be upper (or can it?).
Yards (реи (pl.), рея (sing.)) are fastened to masts, and they are the timbers upon which the sails are spread.

«От несваренья мысли слова во рту прокисли» this is Gerty's, I've never heard that before.

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Originally Posted by waxwing

Interesting thread guys. :)

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Thanks for the corrections waxwing, it always helps to have someone check over the english translation too :) I will fix it when I come back on Monday!

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Originally Posted by Gerty

Here you can read the whole first chapter at my publisher's dead site:
http://palmira.ru/Books/?fragment/499

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Асилил. Пешы ещо! :)

Эта книга Юлии Большаковой под названием "Амазонкам дозволено все" так и пестрит народным говором.
Kalinka_vinnie сделал суперский перевод, но все равно никто не сможет до конца перевести язык русской глубинки, пусть и искусственно произведенный г-жой Болшаковой.Давайте возьмем ,к примеру,шолоховского персонажа. Кто-нибудь сможет перевести сбивчивую речь деда Щукаря: "Оно хоша конечно, коли ежели чего, а что касается до обсуждения,то буквально. Если к этому вопросу подойти, с точки зрения развития концепции, то проходя через аналитическую точку понятия можно сказать, что так то оно так, да вот случись что, вот тебе на"(Это не точная цитата). Я даже не знаю как перевести данную тираду на русский LOL

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Originally Posted by JJ

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Originally Posted by Gerty

Here you can read the whole first chapter at my publisher's dead site:
http://palmira.ru/Books/?fragment/499

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Асилил. Пешы ещо! :)

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ППКС

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Originally Posted by луговой лютик

Эта книга Юлии Большаковой под названием "Амазонкам дозволено все" так и пестрит народным говором.
Kalinka_vinnie сделал суперский перевод, но все равно никто не сможет до конца перевести язык русской глубинки, пусть и искусственно произведенный г-жой Болшаковой.Давайте возьмем ,к примеру,шолоховского персонажа. Кто-нибудь сможет перевести сбивчивую речь деда Щукаря: "Оно хоша конечно, коли ежели чего, а что касается до обсуждения,то буквально. Если к этому вопросу подойти, с точки зрения развития концепции, то проходя через аналитическую точку понятия можно сказать, что так то оно так, да вот случись что, вот тебе на"(Это не точная цитата). Я даже не знаю как перевести данную тираду на русский LOL

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Есть такой девиз у переводчиков: нет ничего непереводимого! И это действительно так. Чтобы максимально грамотно перевести предложенную фразу, нужно провести довольно-таки обширное исследование с привлечением специалистов разного профиля - этнографов, историков, языковедов... Это самый максимум. Настоящий переводчик всегда найдёт достойный выход, даже если возможности провести полную работу не имеется. Учитывая голую фразу, выдранную из текста, можно посоветовать продумать варианты запутанного хода мысли, характерные для носителей языка такого возраста.