What do you think about?..

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August 22nd, 2006, 07:40 AM
Scientist

What do you think about?..

Please read this text!
A coach addressed his assistant. He said: “John, Mike’s brother as far as I know played football very well. What’s happened?!” A bald man, who was the best player of the team several years ago, answered: “Two month ago in the end of March he broke his leg, and now he can’t play well, I suppose he is not in good shape”. “And how about the other player?..” a coach asked. “Give me the list of the team. Right there are Nick, Alex his brother, Ted, and Tom. I think we will be able to win in this match”.

What do you think:
1. Is this text right or wrong?
2. Are there any mistakes?
3. Is it hard to read?
August 22nd, 2006, 07:52 AM
basurero

Re: What do you think about?..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scientist

Please read this text!
A coach addressed his assistant. He said: “John, Mike’s brother as far as I know played football very well. What’s happened?!” A bald man, who was the best player in the team several years ago, answered: “Two month ago at the end of March he broke his leg, and now he can’t play well, I suppose he is not in good shape”. “And how about the other player?..” a coach asked. “Give me the list of the team. Right there are Nick, Alex his brother, Ted, and Tom. I think we will be able to win _ this match”.

What do you think:
1. Is this text right or wrong?
2. Are there any mistakes?
3. Is it hard to read?

Ошибок почти нету, но я не понял смысла текста.

Так что, я ответил бы на третьий вопрос "да, трудно читать".
August 22nd, 2006, 07:54 AM
Alware

Куда этот мир катится???? :(
August 22nd, 2006, 10:18 AM
Оля

Re: What do you think about?..

Quote:

Originally Posted by basurero

я ответил бы на третий вопрос
August 22nd, 2006, 01:49 PM
Бармалей

I guess I get the point of the text (it's a coach trying to assess his chance of winning), but it's not a very smooth flowing text. It's pretty obvious that it's written by someone who has a basic command of English, but doesn't speak it fluently. Also, content-wise, what coach doesn't realize his star player broke his leg? :wink: And coaches don't tend to call players Tom or Bob -- but last names: "Martinez" or "Simpkins."
August 22nd, 2006, 02:01 PM
Vincent Tailors

Quote:

And how about the other player?..” a coach asked.

Shouldn't "the" be here instead of "a"? (the coach).
August 22nd, 2006, 02:15 PM
Volk

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vincent Tailors

Quote:

And how about the other player?..” a coach asked.

Shouldn't "the" be here instead of "a"? (the coach).

Yes, if it was the same coach introduced at the start. If it wasn't the same coach it should be something like "another coach asked" or "the other coach asked" if the other coach was also introduced previously.

I had a go at making it 'flow' a little better:

A coach addressed his assistant. “John, you know Mike’s brother, as far as I know he used to be a great footballer. What happened?!” A bald man, the star player of the team several years ago, answered: “About two months ago at the end of March he broke his leg, and now he can’t play like he used to, I guess he's just not in good shape these days”. “And how about the other player?...” the coach asked. “Give me the team list. Lets see here, there's Nick, Alex his brother, Ted, and Tom. You know, I think we still have a good chance of winning this match”.

(If there's two brothers playing on the same team, I think one would have a nickname since they'd usually be called by last names.)

The original is still understandable.
August 23rd, 2006, 01:41 AM
shadow1

Here is my guess

The coach addressed his assistant “John, as far as I know Mike's brother used to be a great football player. What happened?!”
The bald man who was the star player of the team several years ago, answered: “Two months ago at the end of March he broke his leg, and now he can’t play like he used to, I guess he's just not in good shape anymore”.
“And how about the other players?...” the coach asked.
“Give me the team list. Right there are Nick, Alex his brother, Ted, and Tom.
You know, I think we still have a good chance of winning this match”.

I am a bit confused with the sentence "Right there are".
If he is pointing to the names on the list, I would say
"Look, here is Nick and his brother Alex, Ted and Tom." (colloquial)

Overall not bad.

Edit: You should use the definite article "the".
August 23rd, 2006, 04:43 AM
sperk

Re: What do you think about?..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scientist

What do you think:
1. Is this text right or wrong?
2. Are there any mistakes?
3. Is it hard to read?

1. i don't understand the question
2. yes
3. yes
August 23rd, 2006, 04:56 AM
Dobry

Re: What do you think about?..

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scientist

Please read this text!
A coach addressed his assistant. He said: “John, Mike’s brother as far as I know played football very well. What’s happened?!” A bald man, who was the best player of the team several years ago, answered: “Two month ago in the end of March he broke his leg, and now he can’t play well, I suppose he is not in good shape”. “And how about the other player?..” a coach asked. “Give me the list of the team. Right there are Nick, Alex his brother, Ted, and Tom. I think we will be able to win in this match”.

What do you think:
1. Is this text right or wrong?
2. Are there any mistakes?
3. Is it hard to read?

Not bad text. Easy to read. Most people would understand the meaning.

A few suggestions...

A coach, addressing his assistant said, “Mike’s brother John, as far as I know played football very well. What’s happened?!”

His assistant, a bald man sitting and listening, who had been the best player of the team several years previous, answered, “Two months ago in the end of March John broke his leg, and now he can’t play well. I suppose he is not in good shape."

The coach then asked, “And how about the other players? Give me the list of the team."

The assistant answered, "Right!... there are Nick, Alex his brother, Ted, and Tom. I think we will be able to win this match”.

This may be the version you want. Irish/British/Aussie English I think. Many Americans would say it a little differently... but it is good, clear English.
August 23rd, 2006, 05:43 AM
basurero

Quote:

Originally Posted by Бармалей

And coaches don't tend to call players Tom or Bob -- but last names: "Martinez" or "Simpkins."

I think it would be the other way around, but I guess it depends on the coach.
August 23rd, 2006, 10:22 AM
shadow1

There seems to be some ambiguity in the original text.

1. Is "John" the assistant or Mike's brother?

2. Is the bald man the assistant or another guy in the room?
August 23rd, 2006, 01:24 PM
Бармалей

Quote:

Originally Posted by basurero

Quote:

Originally Posted by Бармалей

And coaches don't tend to call players Tom or Bob -- but last names: "Martinez" or "Simpkins."

I think it would be the other way around, but I guess it depends on the coach.

Dunno about NZ, but here, unless you are a little kid and the coach is talking directly to you, they'll usually use the last name. I guess it's just a sense of "military order" or something; "Martinez get your ass down when you field the ball!" sounds more authoritative than "Bob get your...". If they were talking about them in third person, then they might call them Bobby Martinez or whatever.