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Thread: CCCP Newspaper

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    Почтенный гражданин Mordan's Avatar
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    CCCP Newspaper

    "Rabinowich!" a friend asked. "Do you read communist newspapers?"

    "Of course!" The friend answers. "How else could I know what a happy life I lead ?"

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    С бороды-то сойди.
    Show yourself - destroy our fears - release your mask

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    Почтенный гражданин Mordan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VendingMachine
    С бороды-то сойди.
    plz teach me.. Stand with some beard? Or Grow some hair chest?

    oh no not again. there is a thread already for this shaving subject (notice that in french "barbant" means boring lol... )

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mordan
    Quote Originally Posted by VendingMachine
    С бороды-то сойди.
    plz teach me.. Stand with some beard? Or Grow some hair chest?

    oh no not again. there is a thread already for this shaving subject (notice that in french "barbant" means boring lol... )
    He means that your anecdote is too old and well known.

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    Well, it has to be old. Do you, guys, know any FRESH jokes about СССР? :P
    Find your inner Bart!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gerty
    Well, it has to be old. Do you, guys, know any FRESH jokes about СССР? :P
    I would say Putin's speech on "the biggest catastrophe of the twentieth century" was rather funny for many people... :P

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    It means "get off the [joke's] beard". Old jokes that everyone knows are said to have a beard in Russian (бородатый анекдот or анекдот с бородой).
    Show yourself - destroy our fears - release your mask

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    Старший оракул
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    Speaking of Russian jokes, my Russian friends have never heard of Yakov Smirnoff... Is he not popular in Russia? (I wouldn't necessarily say he is popular here, but most people have heard of him...) Definitely a funny guy, but I can't help but wonder if he's going to join Charro on the "Surreal Life" soon...

    -Fantom
    "Alright, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just figure this out and I'll get back to killing you with beer."

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    Quote Originally Posted by fantom605
    Yakov Smirnoff...
    Once I met a guy on an other forum who had something like "In Soviet Russia TV watchs you" as his signature. I asked him what this idiotic phrase mean and now I know who is Yakoff.

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    Do you, guys, know any FRESH jokes about СССР?
    I 've just read this one, maybe it will pass as "about СССР" :

    - Россию никогда не примут в Евросоюз!
    - Почему?
    - Да потому что один союз мы уже развалили!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Triton
    Do you, guys, know any FRESH jokes about СССР?
    I 've just read this one, maybe it will pass as "about СССР" :

    - Россию никогда не примут в Евросоюз!
    - Почему?
    - Да потому что один союз мы уже развалили!
    ?

    OK well VM, it is old but rings so true, Can you apply it to my country?

    my aim was not to make you laugh anyway. You don't deserve it actually :P

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    here's a wierd thing I read not really a joke but kind of.

    If you took 2 men and 1 woman and stranded them on an island, and then came back in 6 months what would happen depending on the country the people were from...

    Spain: the men would kill eachother dueling over the woman
    England: they would still be standing where you left them not having been properly introduced
    France: They would have a beautiful garden and be just fine. The men would have agreed to share the woman, one guy gets her for 3 months and then the other.
    Russia: The men would sit around at a felt table making boring speeches to eachother while the "commoners" (the woman) worked in the feilds.

    Can't remember where that was from but I thought it was interesting.

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    Почтенный гражданин Mordan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Biancca
    here's a wierd thing I read not really a joke but kind of.

    If you took 2 men and 1 woman and stranded them on an island, and then came back in 6 months what would happen depending on the country the people were from...

    Spain: the men would kill eachother dueling over the woman
    England: they would still be standing where you left them not having been properly introduced
    France: They would have a beautiful garden and be just fine. The men would have agreed to share the woman, one guy gets her for 3 months and then the other.
    Russia: The men would sit around at a felt table making boring speeches to eachother while the "commoners" (the woman) worked in the feilds.

    Can't remember where that was from but I thought it was interesting.
    hhehe and what country is going to do a threesome? Oh sorry really can't help it....

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    OK well VM, it is old but rings so true, Can you apply it to my country?
    What do you mean apply it to your country? Thought it was about your country. Isn't it about Belgium?
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    Who is Yakov Smirnoff?
    Show yourself - destroy our fears - release your mask

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    Bianca, you got it all mixed up - it'd be the Germans running a nice routine of Hans+Bertha on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday and Gunther+Bertha on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, and it'd be the French who would be having a threesome.
    Show yourself - destroy our fears - release your mask

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mordan
    You don't deserve it actually
    Don't deserve what?
    Show yourself - destroy our fears - release your mask

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    Quote Originally Posted by VendingMachine
    Who is Yakov Smirnoff?
    Hmm, so it is true! He's a performer (stand-up comedian) that plays in Branson, Missouri (where all the Country singers and washed up stars go, for the most part) I guess he's semi-famous only here, and not in his home country...
    -Fantom

    http://www.yakov.com

    Here are a couple:


    In Russia is freedom of speech. In America is also freedom after speech. -- Yakov Smirnoff
    In America, you watch television. In Soviet Union, television watches you.
    In America, you check books out of library. In Soviet Union, library checks you out.
    In California, you can always find a party. In Russia, The Party can always find you. -- Yakov Smirnoff [/url]
    "Alright, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so let's just figure this out and I'll get back to killing you with beer."

  19. #19
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    No, we have tossers like Zadornov instead.
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