Example of horrible Russian

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Ограничение экономических возможностей и фактическое место России в мирохозяйственной системе сегодня и в перспективе двух-трех ближайших десятилетий предполагают оптимизацию структуры военной промышленности. Суть ее прямо вытекает из основных положений военной доктрины на каждом отдельном этапе, ее приоритетов в области военного строительства.
Упор на развитие стратегических ядерных сил предполагает и изменение приоритетов в ВПК РФ. Речь должна идти о первостепенном внимании к развитию ракетно-космической и атомной промышленности, а также к военному самолето- и кораблестроению.

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Don't remember where have picked it up. If we take the subjects and predicates of the 4 sentences, it will be:

Ограничение и место предполагают. Суть вытекает. Упор предполагает. Речь должна идти.

In the 1st and 3rd sentences the subjects have sense, all other parts do not.

Why it is written so? It is not a scientific work, simply a compilation of many facts, but suffers the same problem of science and bureaucracy: excess in writing. The 4th sentence means: "some measures to modernize aircrafts industry are necessary". Otherwise, if "речь должна идти" ("it's a question of...", literally "there shoud be speech on...") had direct meaning, it would be completely stupid.

Probably according to author's feelings it would sound stupid to say it simply, it could be a commonplace like "wash your hands before you eat". Maybe there is an unwritten etiquette among those who write it, let's say, it is unpolite to demand anything directly.

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Originally Posted by detail

Why it is written so?

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Well, try to read California Vehicle Code. Why it is written so?

I can't see anything "horrible" here -- just a dry burocratic language. (And what did you expect from official article taken from official source?)
If you want an example of *really* horrible language, just listen to pop-songs (or speaches by some of GosDuma deputies :) )

Well, the horribility is that this text is publicistic, and it's goal is to make clear something to the reader.

Instead, the author adds excessive constructs, puts a noun instead of a verb (eg. you need to act => you need an action to be performed, there is A, thus there is B => The presence of fact that there is A consequently leads to B).

I have to deal with similar kind of texts at my work in a research institute. My diploma consultant not only works in research but also presents all this to the bureaucracy, has to persuade them by the reports, articles. Hence he often writes unnecessarily superfluous texts too, and there are plenty of such materials for me to read. This freaks me out. One must not write this way.

I've found the source: Nationalsecurity.ru. Though it can be run by bureaucrats, it is a collection of materials for students.

I can give you plenty more examples of horrible Russian. All I have to do is open my mouth... :roll:

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Originally Posted by Barmaley

I can give you plenty more examples of horrible Russian. All I have to do is open my mouth... :roll:

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Here is what Babelfish made of that exact sentence:

Я могу дать вам множество больше примеров horrible русского. Все, котор я должен сделать должно раскрыть мой рот...

And back:

I can give to you the set more than examples horrible of Russian. Everything, I is which it must make must open my mouth...


Excellent.

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Originally Posted by волк

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Barmaley

I can give you plenty more examples of horrible Russian. All I have to do is open my mouth... :roll:

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Here is what Babelfish made of that exact sentence:

Я могу дать вам множество больше примеров horrible русского. Все, котор я должен сделать должно раскрыть мой рот...

And back:

I can give to you the set more than examples horrible of Russian. Everything, I is which it must make must open my mouth...


Excellent.

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LOL. :lol:

I don't think it's horrible. It might not be appropriate for all situations, but no style would.
It is different from a typical style that is recommended for American and other English language publications, but every country and every language has its own peculiarities as far as the preferred styles go. What is considered clear and lucid in English might sometimes look shallow and abrupt in Russian -- at least to its' target audience, and vice versa.
Russians do on average prefer a bit heavier style, with longer sentences, sentences without subject, etc. -- you just have to get used to it :)

I've seen once a comparison of Chinese and English business letters. Chinese letters (and Russian ones, too, btw) usually begin with an introduction and explanation of the situation, and ending with the request. On the other hand, English letters often begin with a request. Naturally, English style seemed very rude to the Chinese, and the Chinese one appeared unclear to the Americans.