Thread: Belorussian Men or rather men in general

I am not sure if this is the proper place for this topic, so if the mods feel it isn't would you please put in the right place?

I have a friend who is from Minsk, Belarus.

You see he is well a man and me, I am female.

Do Russian men have female friends as good trusted friends?

I ask because sometimes he wants to tell me things and starts to. Then stops and says he can not. That he can not go against his community, his culture. He says he wants to hang out, and even makes plans or asks me what I would like. But at last minute he will cancel.

I am actually confused by a lot of what he tells me.

Help?!

That's some question
You know, it is too too general. All men and women are different, and I think that's true for every country in the world. And disputes about whether or not boys can be friends with girls were very popular back when I was going to school.
And his unwillingness to discuss certain matters with you may stem from cultural differences between your countries rather then from gender issues. But then again, who knows?

Yeah, I was afraid that your question would start a discussion on whether men and women can be friends (without sexual component involved) or not. Let's say they can.

Then there's nothing in Belorussian or Russian culture that specifically prevents people of opposed sexes from being trusted friends (or trusting boyfriends/girlfriends for that matter).

Frankly speaking I don't understand that "going against his community and culture" part. Except that if he's still residing in Minsk his parents (for example) could prefer him to date a local girl... But I'd better not guess.

Just ask him.

There is nothing but friendship between us. (or that is what I believe) if it is more, certainly not on my part. LOL

I am just trying to figure out where he is coming from in the words he says and his actions.

I feel llike I have to always read between the lines with no clear definition. (He often tells me to think about it) Call me stupid, but it would be eaiser to just to say it. SIgh .....

Yes I understand that everyone is different ... I think I was looking for an idea or maybe a generalization .... but I am sure time will tell.

ARG!

Originally Posted by gRomoZeka

Yeah, I was afraid that your question would start a discussion on whether men and women can be friends (without sexual component involved) or not. Let's say they can.

Originally Posted by rockzmom

gRomoZeka,

There was recently a CNN article about married woman and should they be "allowed' or "able" to have guy friends.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/perso...nds/index.html

emeraldeyez,

I am American and have been on this board for a few months, I have learned a great deal from the "natives" on this board. They are a fantastic bunch of people.

I am married to a man from El Salvador and may be of a some assistance here in an odd way.... I believe that it is that we as Americans are too open and willing to spill all our guts out to the first person we meet, in a friendly and open fashion sort of way. Especially if you are from the Southern Eastern, U.S. (Sort of like our smiles, right gRomoZeka?)

While non-Americans are not this way.

So it may be a case of where he wants to open up to you as a friend, yet he is just not ready yet or not used to it especially since you are an American.

How long have you known him? If it has not been that long of a time... give him a chance... let him know that you are there for him and that you are not going anywhere.

My two cents anyway.. best wishes...rockzmom.

Originally Posted by rockzmom

I believe that it is that we as Americans are too open and willing to spill all our guts out to the first person we meet, in a friendly and open fashion sort of way. Especially if you are from the Southern Eastern, U.S. (Sort of like our smiles, right gRomoZeka?)

While non-Americans are not this way.

I think Russian, Ukrainian and Belorussian are quite open. As for me I am restricted only with level of my English language. But all people are different so the world is more interesting.

Originally Posted by XPaul

I think Russian, Ukrainian and Belorussian are quite open. As for me I am restricted only with level of my English language. But all people are different so the world is more interesting.

Interesting.

Never let the level of your language deter you from being open and finding new things!

Like me ... my russian is not good. very limited. However, I refuse to give up on understanding, on being a friend. I will over come the difference somehow!

Boys will be boys. I've heard many excuses from men and well this sounds just like another lame excuse. I agree with the concept that Americans may be too open with non-Americans, but if that is not the case, he could either be shy or just making up an excuse for whatever reason he may have.

I've dated a man from Turkey and he was restricted with himself (very respectful of my body) like you describe, but he was not afraid to speak his mind (proposed after two weeks). So this could really go either way. Best of luck.